Back Yet Forward started off as my personal journey, recovering from adverse childhood experiences (ACE’s), trauma & toxic stress. My distorted view of self, blame, guilt, and low self-esteem (which resulted in emotional eating, weight issues and a self-diagnosed eating disorder) got me interested in food & nutrition. What started off as a simple interest to heal my relationship to food and learn more about nutrition, has now led me to think broader about the way we live our life, about different addictions and unhealthy patterns people struggle with. My interest in food has made me realize some very deep and structural problems in our food system and society, resulting in the unhealthy state of people and the planet. One is the reflection of the other. A society or a community can only be as healthy as the people in it. Before we can heal the world, we need to heal ourselves.

Being on the road to healing myself, I know, that whatever it is that ails us, we have to find the root cause.

I grew up in Estonia, live 4 years in France, and a few years ago life brought me to the United States. Living in these three very different countries, I have noticed different underlying paradigms, regarding food, and our connection to it.

In Estonia, food is sustenance.  Food is directly connected to the land. And to surviving.

In France, food is culture. Food is tradition. Food is a social act. Food is history. Food is connecting to “others” and connecting to the “past”. Food is also – pride.

In the US, the connections and the relationship to food is a little bit more controversial, and, in some cases, we could even say that the relationship (beyond just putting something in one’s mouth), is lacking. Although people come to the US from hundreds of different countries, it may seem like we have forgotten the roots. The reigning corporate powers, and a short history or (the lack there of) of “American food culture” has resulted in a largely illiterate population when it comes to food. Convenience & mainstream media are kings. And, then there is food fear and paranoia. We live in an era where this generation of children will be the first one to live shorter lives than their parents, or, will have a lower quality of life due to various health problems. This problem is obviously, multifaceted. As my first and foremost interest goes into the world of food, that’s what I am starting with.

I work in Gift Culture offering consultations to raise awareness about the role that food plays in the bigger picture, not only regarding our personal health and well-being, but the state of the world. Through back yet forward I aim to empower us be the change we wish to see in the world.